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Pruning fruit trees is very important. It allows the sun to reach all areas of the tree so that the fruit will be better and the tree will live longer Swearing that I wouldn't call someone to do the job for me, I armed myself with my best sewing scissors and a ladder. I succeeded in opening the ladder and pinching my thumb in about 30 minutes. Then I climbed up this thing and had an idea of what Jack felt like when he climbed the beanstalk.

Then I reached the first limb, and even though I suddenly realized that I knew nothing about pruning fruit trees, I was sure it wouldn't be too hard. I realized my scissors weren't going to do the job after I tried cutting a smaller limb from the tree. That's when I pulled out my husband's chain saw.

It had to be better than my scissors, right? The problem was, I didn't know it would be so loud and it startled me. I tossed it on the ground. Lucky for me the grass is soft, because I topped off the ladder afterwards. I swore at the stupid chain saw, then we back up the ladder with it. I was prepared this time; I started again.

I tried to cut that same small limb again. Apparently, chainsaws are really sharp as well. The chain saw was aggressive and chomped into six and half limbs. About 1/4th of my tree was lying on the ground now. My precious tree! If I wasn't ticked off before, I sure was now. Never mind the fact that I now had a big scratch on my forehead after one of the falling limbs struck me there. But I wasn't about to give up.

This time I got out the hedge shears and climbed up the tree itself. How hard can pruning fruit trees possibly be? I accidentally kicked the ladder over on the way up.

I was absolutely fuming as I waited until my husband found me in that bleeping fruit tree. I was bleeding from the head and had dirt all over my butt. I walked back to the house as my husband laughed, but as I did I gave that tree a withering look and muttering, "Until next year!"